Small
things. She left the cupboard doors ajar, drawers open, the dishwasher gaping.
He hated the way she brushed her teeth, the splatters on the mirror, the snake
of her floss in the trashcan.
At
night, in bed, she breathed audibly—too low to be called a snore—but he could
never forget she was there. It was more than the hump of her body, her heat,
the curl of her back, the tug of the sheet balled in her fist.
She
suggested marriage counseling. Her idea like everything else, so he was
rehearsing his part, making a list. He couldn’t rattle on mindlessly as she
could, laying down a stream of words in no particular order, thought
leap-frogging thought, so that when she finally stopped with that brilliant
smile, he had no idea what she’d just said.
He wrote
down: “That smile.” Top of the list. How to explain? That smile pulled him in
the first day, lassoed him, made him pause at her table in the library, bend
his head to her book where she was pointing at a phrase: The ineluctability of being, smiling and saying, in the voice of a
siren—another complaint, the subversive rhythm of her voice—she was saying, “How
do you say that and what does it mean?”
“Ineluctability,” he
had said. “Seven syllables. You must say each one to get it right.” He pronounced the word again, and she
stared at his lips, absorbing every movement, her hazel eyes almost touching
him with their luminescence.
Should he
add the disturbing eyes to his list?
No. Maybe
that was the one thing she couldn’t change.
In-e-luc-ta-bil-i-ty. Her lips—oh, those lips—write it down. Her lips tasted every syllable, slowly, with his, and then again, a little
faster, then in a rush—ineluctability—
ineluctability—twice, fast—and then that laugh again, the laugh of delight.
He was being fair. Her delight had delighted him, but it still felt like a
trick, one of her tricks.
He wrote
down trick.
“But what does
it mean—ineluctability?”
“It’s something
that can’t be avoided or resisted,”
he had said. “Something inevitable.”
“Ah, I see,” she
said. The laugh again. The eyes. The smile. “I perceive,” she had said, “the ineluctability of coffee with you.”
“Now?”
He crumpled
the list. What was the use? They were together. Ineluctably. Five syllables.
© 2012 Kathleen Coskran first appeared in Water~Stone Review 2012
© 2012 Kathleen Coskran first appeared in Water~Stone Review 2012
This was absolutely delicious!
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