Just an Expression

     Lola was hungry.

    Again.

    Her mother had said, more than once, "You must have a tape worm."

    Those words meant no sense to her--tape worm--a worm that was taped to her stomach so her breakfast went straight to the worm rather than to her always empty stomach? The thought was disgusting. It was so confusing and repulsive that she googled it. "Tapeworms are flat, parasitic worms that can live in the intestines of animals, including humans. They can grow to be over 12 feet long and live for years."

    She stopped reading, slammed her phone down, then picked it up just as quickly, then stopped. What to do? This was an emergency, right? A worm in her body 12 feet long and she barely four and a half feet tall! Yes, it was an emergency. She remembered her mother saying, "Your growth spurt is late," in a tone meant to be reassuring. Lola had forgotten all about it, but the reason was now clear.

    She had a tapeworm. A paralyzing thought. The worm was eating her food, growing longer and longer as she failed to grow at all. She panicked, felt worse, hungrier than ever, and dialed 911, which she knew is what you do in an emergency. She gave her address, stuttered something apparently unintelligible, but did manage to say, close to tears, that, yes,  it was an emergency, an emergency, put down the phone, and stepped outside to wait.

    By the time the ambulance arrived, her stomach was a hard ball of worry. She stood up, just as her mother appeared on the front porch and two men hurried up the sidewalk carrying a stretcher.

~

    What happened next was worse than a 12-foot tapeworm in her gut: two guys with a stretcher shaking their heads and laughing, laughing . . . at her. Her mother red-faced, angry, not laughing. Her mother was explaining and apologizing, glaring at Lola, saying something about just an expression, and then everybody looking at her, the men smiling, her mother tightlipped and waiting, Lola knew, just waiting for the men to take their stretcher and leave.

    When they finally did go, smiling and shaking their heads, her mother began with the predictable, "You have some explaining to do . . . " but then paused, took a breath, and said, "Perhaps I should first explain what 'just an expression' means."

    Just the grace note Lola needed.