No, I don’t love
you. Not at all. Not one bit. Never did.
Like?
Maybe. Yes. Well, some. Of course, I like you. Who wouldn’t like you? That
crooked smile.
Yes--that's it! How do you do that? Get part of your lip to curve, the other side
straight. It’s unnatural, yet enough of a smile, a near smile, to show those
teeth. And those teeth. Unnaturally perfect. Do you bleach them?
No.
I did not, repeat, did not say you
were perfect. Just your teeth, for which you can take no credit. It was the
first thing I liked about you—those teeth.
First
implies a second? Well, yes. I can be fair. You’re right about that one thing.
Having a first thing I liked about you implies a second—unless it was an only.
No,
I didn’t say it was an only.
So the second thing. . . .Well, if I’m honest, and Lord knows, I try to
be, the second thing was your voice. Low male voice.
Well, obviously you’re a guy, but your voice has a richness, an
expressiveness that most men don’t have.
You
didn’t know that? Well, yes, it’s true.
Yes, there was a third thing. The third thing was . . . .well, how to say it in the kindest way possible?
You’re nice to a fault.
Is
that the same as boring? Good point. Could be, but I choose never to be bored.
So
why don’t I love you?
Pause.
Long
pause.
Let
me count the ways.
Yes,
I know the poem, and yes it’s about the ways she does love him, but you were asking the opposite. Also quantifiable.
Ways I don’t love you.
The
first list was ways I like you. Not
ways I love you.
Anything
to add to that list? Well, (speaking quickly, impatiently, nearly shouting) you
are funny, generous to a fault, and
when you look at me sometimes—only sometimes—I have this falling feeling in my
chest.
Maybe
falling for you, in love with you? I
didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth.
What?
Well, that’s true. You do know how to listen. I like that about you.
A
lot.
© 2012
Kathleen Coskran
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